Saturday Showdown
Welcome to the Saturday Showdown! Where we take two nouns
and place them against each other to see who would come out victorious! Here’s how
the game works: I pick two nouns (a person, place, or thing) and lock them in
battle. I will give their stats and a brief bio and then play out the battle
for you. If you agree, thanks for coming. If you disagree, explain your answer.
Don’t forget to add which characters you want to see featured.
To start this off I have chosen two Galactic Villains. Both gave
birth to heroes, both desire to take over the galaxy, and both have been
successful (for a while at least).
Emperor Zurg
Real name: unknown
Base: Planet Z
First Appearance: Buzz Lightyear Of Star Command: The Adventure
Begins, Toy Story 2
Bio: not much is known about Zurg’s history, but much is
known about his intents to rule the galaxy and create mass chaos. Zurg in the
past has been relatively successful with his plans, having only been thwarted
by Buzz Lightyear. Zurg’s bumbling henchmen include mutated Grubs and
intelligent Brain-in-jars. They work happily as long as the 401K promised to
them is available after retirement (Zurg is evil. There is no 401K).
Darth Vader
Real Name: Anakin Skywalker
Base: Coruscant, Death Star, E.S. Devastator
First Appearance: A New Hope? The Phantom Menace? Revenge of
the Sith? Your guess is as good as mine.
Bio: from slavery to Galactic hero, Anakin has had quite the
journey. After rejecting the Jedi Law to disconnect from those he loves, Anakin
married his childhood sweetheart Padme Amidala. At the events of her death,
Anakin turned himself over to the Dark Side of the force and became Darth
Vader, having destroyed a planet and ruling the rest with an iron fist. He only
answers to Palpatine and has only been defeated by a small number of people
with insane amount of luck.
The battle:
Emperor
Zurg gazed across the sea of stars. From the outside it seemed like he was staring
at nothing but Zurg was not merely some outsider. He was the center, and he
craved conquest. Out in the distance, in the direction Zurg was staring, was Coruscant-
the crown jewel of the Galactic Empire.
“Set
Course for the planet Coruscant” shouted Zurg
After moments
of nothing, Zurg’s minion, grub 99, appeared holding a French bun with a side
of cream cheese
“NOT
CRESAUNT! CORESCAUNT!” shouted Zurg as he powerfully slams the roll to the
ground. Trails of light zoomed past the ship. Zurg’s evil mission was underway.
“Coruscant
to ship. Identify yourselves at once. This is your final warning” said the
flight manager routinely. A chill ran up the employee’s spine.
“What
seems to be the issue private?” the voice was unmistakable. The manager jumped
just a little at Darth Vader’s Surprise entrance.
“Well
sir, this ship isn’t responding to our hails…” suddenly the screen fizzed and
then turned on.
“Good
morning my future lackeys! Say hello to your new ruler, the Evil Emperor Zurg!”
“There
is only one emperor, and it is he whom I serve and protect. You are not welcome
here leave at once or I shall be forced to destroy you” responded Vader.
“Ooh, a
challenger! You really should get that breathing checked. Have you tried yoga? Really
helps to open up your wind pipes.” Quipped Zurg. His good humor masking his
evil intentions.
“I will
tolerate no more of this foolishness” Darth Vader pulls out his lightsaber, and
with one swing of his crimson blade the control panel was no more.
“I will
deal with this buffoon myself. Allow the ship to enter.”
“Y Y Yes
lord Vader.” Saluted the flight manager as Vader left the room. No matter what
happens in life, nothing will be as frightening as those two minutes were to
the flight manager.
Zurg’s
ship lands on the imperial landing platform. As the hatch door opens several metallic
hornets exit the ship, guns blazing. Storm troopers falling left and right as
the same happens to Zurg’s robotic army.
“Enough
of this” shouts Vader as he uses the force to clear the landing pad of Hornets
and Stormtroopers alike. Zurg exits the Ship.
“Ooh,
nice trick. Now let me show you one of mine!” Zurg’s ion blaster lashes out at
Darth Vader creating heavy suppression fire. Vader deflects a few with his
lightsaber.
Vader
jumps for cover on top of Zurg’s Scout ship. Using the force, Vader lifts the
repair and fueling containers, lobbing them at Zurg. Zurg presses the logo on
his chest plate activating the rocket boosters. Zurg dodges most of the debris
through aerial maneuvers and blasts an oncoming fueling tank with his gun. The explosion
blinds Vader.
Darth Vader looks around, stunned
that he has lost track of the new player in his game for conquest.
CHEOOM!
Vader looks down. His chest module
has a gaping hole in hit. Zurg has hit him from behind.
“I
always love that trick, gets them every time!” said Zurg Cheerfully.
Darth
Vader hits the ground. Defeated and quickly forgotten by Zurg.
“Now,
Stormtroopers, you work for me now.” Explained Zurg to the audience of shocked
troopers. They stand at attention.
“Yes my
Lord” they shout in unison.
“Oh
that is way too extravagant” thought Zurg. “How about, Supreme Ruler Emperor
Zurg”
Winner: Zurg
Do you agree? Dis-agree? Explain in the comments!
Who’s next? List your suggestions of fights you want to see
in the comments! Thanks for joining us today and have a great weekend!
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